Great Loss

Punishment...Sacrifice. Sometimes it seems the punishment is too great...too much to bear. Coupled with the loss that already exists it seems impossible to carry. Grief. Maybe medicine can trick my brain into believing a different truth: that the loss is not really so devastating. Maybe I can be convinced to think like others do about it. That love in this case is wrong. That care in this case is misplaced and deplorable. Maybe medicine or the right chemicals can fix me. Maybe they can fix my broken smile. My face has never been this heavy before. Now I look into the youthful faces full of hope with such a granite look. A face sobered and saddened. Spark-less eyes unable to connect with anyone because my heart is empty, bottomless. You are on your own. May you fare better than me. I hope you are not robbed of your delight. "Guard, I'm ready, the visit's over."